Nearly Wishes

  I really don't know if I'm able to love, to feel pleased with somebody else. I see people everywhere loving and being loved. Their smiles tell us (who sees) that they're deeply in love - and happy. I would like to know how it feels, but I'm a bit afraid of it.
  I feel like having someone to be there for me, to embrace me when I feel alone, to remind me I'm not alone. I want to meet the love of my life. The one who can take me out of this mad shit I live. But I can't imagine myself with somebody else. I don't know how to love. Maybe I'll die alone. Who knows? I find it very weird when a person tells me "I'm in love with you". I think "How the fuck anyone can fall in love with me?" I'm so ordinary it kills me.
  But I'm here hoping that someday I'll find someone who I can love. I really don't want to love someone who doesn't love me back. All I want is peace. I'm tired of this filthy world while I'm here being invisible. I can stand it when I'm with you. This will be a beautiful goodbye to all the shit I live through and all the shit I "feel". My love. Where are you at? I'll find you. We'll be fine together. What are you doing now? I wonder if you ever wonder about a love... I'm here. I'll be here. Come as you are. I will create a face I can daydream about everyday and everytime I feel shit. I will imagine a hug, so I can hug you whenever I want to. Even though  I can't see your face today I won't give up so easily.